


crisis

by orphan_account



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27306904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: sonny calls crisis for the first time.barisi mentioned/implied but its not really the focal point.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	crisis

"You have reached the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, also servicing the Veterans service line. If you are in emotional distress or suicidal crisis or are concerned about someone who might be, we're here to help. Please remain on the line while we route your call to the nearest crisis center in our network."

sonnys heart was beating out of his chest. was this a mistake?

someone picked up the phone.

"hello, this is the crisis hotline. what is your name?"

"dominick carisi"

"are you in any danger to yourself or others right now?"

"uh- yeah, myself."

"okay, and what caused you to feel like this today?". the voice soothed him as he thought about… everything.

"well, yknow ive been thinkin about my family a lot lately, like if i should tell them stuff that ive been hiding for a while. and i think i might be having flashbacks, but im really worried that, uh, itll get to be too much. ive been thinkin of other stuff too, like what happens after you die? i know theres a God and i trust in Him, but i dont know if ill end up going to hell? like, i feel stuck. my friends and partner can only do so much to help and ive been so overwhelmed all day. i dunno what to do."

"its a good thing you called, then. are you safe right now? do you have any weapons around you?"

"no but i have a, uh, bottle of pills next to me. its pain killers. i get, like uh, chronic pain and migraines"

"okay, could you lock them up somewhere?"

"i really dont know if i want to do that actually."

he just stares at the bottle.

"okay, do you want a crisis team to come out and help you?"

"uhm. yeah, okay, thats fine"

"alright, could you give me your address please?"

sonny rattles off his address like hes done a hundred times before, but this doesnt feel the same. it feels like an intrusion. he wants to back out. he wants to hang up and just do it. go through with it.

he didnt think anyone would miss him. his friends could replace him. raf could find someone new, they were far from soulmates anyway. his family would disown him if he even brought up the topic of his own sexuality.

"hello? are you still there?"

spmmy realized he had been spaced for over a minute.

"oh, yeah im so sorry, that happens sometimes, its because of the meds."

"youre completely okay. the crisis team is on its way, is there anything else youd like them to know before they come into your home?"

"yeah, uh. could you ask them to tell me who they are before i open the door? like their names and stuff? i just get really paranoid sometimes and i feel like im being watched."

"of course, ill write that down in a note for them. anything else?"

"i domt think so. wait- what, uh, time do you think theyll be here? i dont know how safe ill be alone."

"we dont give estimated times of arrival, but it will be soon. do you have anyone you can call to keep you safe until then?"

"i can try my partner maybe but i think hes at his office"

"okay. if you need someone else to stay on the line, you can call again and stay on the phone until the mobile team is near you. hang in there, and stay safe"

"thank you."

hes staring at the bottle again, he realizes. its so tempting. but he calls rafael. he knows he needs help. he needs to be honest. 

he needs help.


End file.
